After seeing an old post of mine quoted on Reddit, I wanted to clarify a point about families.
In my Stanford guidelines, I suggest not choosing “families” as the topic for What Matters Most. That’s not a proscription or an absolute “no, no, no, never!” Rather, it’s a function of my having seen a number of essays about family that don’t work well. Families tend to be so important to us — both in good and less-good ways — that it can be hard to encapsulate everything that ‘family’ means in a brief school essay. Too, the essays that I’ve read often veer into “save it for your therapist” territory.
However, by all means incorporate your family into your story if it makes sense and the focus is not on your individual family members but on you, and how you have learned, grown, evolved because of their influence. Draft out your thoughts and see how they read.
For Stanford, the (optional) background essay may also be a great place to talk about how your family has shaped your values and actions.
With that post, and with any post on this site, keep in mind that I’m trying to make the most of what is necessarily a one-way discussion. You and I are not having a conversation, rather, I’m telling you my thoughts without the opportunity to hear yours. In real life, when I work with clients, writing an essay is an iterative process. Clients write; I offer feedback and ask questions. Usually a lot of questions. In any case, it’s an interactive process, and it’s driven by you and what you want to say.
If you have questions about that post, this post, or really, anything else, please email me at joanne@missionctrl.com
